I’ve learned a new facial expression.

I’m not claiming that I created it; I know it’s not an original. But it’s new for me. I can’t really describe what it looks like, but I’ve suddenly started making this strange expression with my face, and now it feels like I can’t stop. It’s kind of a mixture between confused and focused….I only sport it when I’m really concentrating on something. Even my mother noticed. The other day she asked “What’s this new thing you’re doing with your face?” I guess it’s pretty noticeable.

When you think about it, facial expressions are incredible. Just one eye roll, smile, look of disgust, raising of the eyebrow…. You don’t have to say anything, and yet you can say so much! In fact, let’s try something…I’m going to say a word, and you express it with your face. If you’re not alone you may want to tone down the expression (unless you don’t care what people think, in which case, let loose!) Ready, here we go:

Angry. Confused. Disgusted. Sleepy. Suspicious. Relieved. Unrepentent.

Yes, that’s right, unrepentant. Don’t believe me that being unrepentant can be reflected on your face? Turn with me to Jeremiah 5:3

“They have refused to receive correction. They have made their faces harder than rock; They have refused to return.” Jeremiah 5:3

The prophet Jeremiah described the condition of sinful Judah. Men refused to receive correction; they refused to return to God. With stubborn hearts refusing to be broken by the truth of God’s words, they made their faces harder than a rock. They had fixed their gaze – and it was not in the direction of God.

I’m not entirely familiar with the  context that led God to make this declaration. But there is one thing I know…I never want to have a stone cold face towards my Lord. I’m not talking about the heart of stone that a person has when they refuse to believe and turn their lives over to Christ. Instead, as a believer I’m talking about the temptation to harden my heart, deafen my ears, and turn my eyes from the instruction that God has for me in His Word. It really is a daily temptation, and without being conscious of this, we too can wear a momentary stone cold face towards the Lord and His loving direction for our lives.

A stone cold face results not only in resisting God’s instruction or refusing for a time to repent of this or that sin. It often appears when we are unhappy with the unfolding of our lives. Perhaps God has allowed a circumstance in our lives that we feel is too difficult, and bitterness and resentment has slowly crept into our hearts. Maybe He has denied us a gift we believe we should have received. He might be “taking too long” to bring to an end a painful trial that we have repeatedly asked to be taken away. Has God dealt us a hand we feel too difficult? May our hearts never house bitterness and resentment towards our God, lest our faces become harder than a rock – refusing to be consoled by the truth of God’s sovereignty and wisdom.

Our stone cold face may not be quite as obvious as my “new facial expression”. In fact it may be so subtle that no one around us notices at first. Perhaps no one will say, as did my mother, “What’s this thing you’re doing with your face?” But left unchecked, a stubbornness towards the Lord, a discontent, bitter attitude will surface in the fruit of our lives. As the saying goes (sorry, I’m not sure who first said it):

“Sin will take your further than you ever wanted to go. Sin will keep you longer than you ever wanted to stay. Sin will cost you more than you ever wanted to pay.”

I thank God for the gift of the Holy Spirit – and for His promised ministry of convicting, rebuking, and restoring us. If you have the opportunity I strongly encourage you to listen to John MacArthur’s sermon on the role of the Holy Spirit in our lives, delivered at the 2012 Shepherd’s Conference. It is the Holy Spirit that ensures that our momentary times of stubbornness and unrepentence is just that, momentary. He will convict. He will rebuke. He will restore. He ensures that the good work that God has began in us will be carried out until it is completed. Thank God that it is does not depend on our own effort and will to keep ourselves faithful, but on His promise to keep us faithful. For the believer, He ensures that we will never reach a point where our heart is hardened beyond return.

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

May our prayer be that we would never have a stone cold look when it comes to our love for God. Even if just for a moment, how hurtful and dishonouring this must be to our Father. And who can truly know where this stubborn condition will take us in our walk with the Lord? On the contrary, may we be marked by the words of Psalm 34:5 “Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.”

While packing and unpacking all of my belongings I came across a book that I had stored away for four years. It’s called “Haley’s Cleaning Hints.” Since my life has been consumed by cleaning up after our move two weeks ago, I’m especially interested in what it has to say. Some of the hints are so useful and practical, others are really bizarre!

Enjoy!

My top ten list of interesting lessons from “Haley’s Cleaning Hints”

10. I’m not sure why, but spaghetti sauce seems to find its way on my clothing only on the days where I’m wearing bright white tops. But, did you know that spaghetti stains can be removed using shaving cream! Not just sauce, but shaving cream can also be used to remove stains caused by blood, chocolate and coffee. Unfortunately the book claims that it only works on carpets… if you’re gutsy enough try it on your clothes (and let me know if it works before I give it a try!)

9. I hate panty hose! But, I look at them in a new light now that I’ve learned that they can be used to buff hardwood floors. So now you don’t have to throw them away when you get a run…just keep them in the linen closet and pull them out when you want to get rid of the smudges on the floor.

8. Here’s an interesting, but perhaps time consuming trick. If you want to get rid of the fingerprints on your stainless steel appliances you can use baby oil! Just remember to rinse it off afterwards with some club soda.

7. For some reason I don’t have a microwave. It’s not that I’m against them, we simply just don’t have one. BUT, if we did, I think I would definitely try this. If you want to get rid of the odour that builds up in your microwave you can place a bowl of water with 3 or 4 slices of lemon inside. Cook it on high for 30 seconds and the microwave will apparently smell like new.

6. Here’s one of those bizarre tricks I was telling you about. Apparently it’s common for people to leave their bread bags near their toasters, and for the bag to accidentally melt onto the toaster from the heat (Is this really that common?) Well, if you’re one of those unfortunate ones with melted bag on your toaster, you can remove it with a little nail polish remover! I’d love to know how Haley’s cleaning team figured that one out.

5. If you like keeping your bread in a bread box (in which case tip #6 probably won’t apply to you), then you can keep your bread fresh longer by placing a box of chalk in the bread box! The chalk keeps the air drier so I it absorbs the moisture that would cause your bread to go moldly faster.

4. Every time I walk through the baking isle in any home store I resolve to throw out all of my baking sheets and start all over. I want mine to look nice and clean like the ones in the store! Well, if I had known this trick, I guess I could have avoided this problem. So, to remove caked on foods on your baking sheets you can soak it in hot water and a denture tablet. . I’m thoroughly entertained by this tip!

3. Warning, you may never think of coke in the same way again. But, if you have stubborn  toilet rings and you can’t seem to get rid of them, pour a can of cola into the toilet. Let it sit over night and brush it well the next day. Wonder what it’s doing to my insides if it can be used to clean my toilet!

2. Ever had people over and watched them place their cups right on your wooden table? What do to? Do you embarrass them and hand them a coaster. That could get awkward. Do you ignore it? Sure, but then you’re left with water rings all over your table. No more embarrassing moments with guests. After they leave, you can apply mayonnaise all over the water mark and leave it on overnight. In the morning wipe it off with a soft cloth and you’ll never know it was there.

1. Ever think about the thousands of dustmites that eventually make their way into your bedding? According to Haley you can put your bedding in a garbage bag and leave it in the freezer for an hour. Apparently that will kill off the dustmites.

Or, you can follow Dina’s Cleaning tips and just put it in the washing machine.

Hope you found this helpful!! Happy Friday!

Haley’s Cleaning Hints (Graham and Rosemary Haley)

Some women really love being pregnant. I wasn’t one of those women.

I remember one of my coworkers telling me how she never felt better than during the months leading up to her delivery. She wasn’t sick even one day. She had a certain glow. People told her how beautiful she looked. She even suggested that she missed the feeling of being pregnant.

I definitely couldn’t relate.

I was a gigantic pregnant. I really mean it. In fact every month that I visited my doctor, she lectured me on the weight that I was gaining. Every month! At the end of my first trimester I read that the average weight gain should be around 3-5 pounds. I had gained ten. At six months she told me I had gained enough weight for the entire pregnancy. I was convinced she was wrong. I also read you were supposed to gain a pound a week. A week? Are you sure they didn’t mean a day? They must have meant a day.

One particular day at work I barged into friend’s  office and complained that I couldn’t stay at work anymore. I had to go home.  No, I wasn’t sick. No, nothing was wrong with the baby. I had to confess the truth:  “I…I think it’s my pants. They’re just too tight. I can’t breath!!” After laughing at me, lecturing me for thinking I could get away with wearing my normal clothes, and assuring me that no, nothing was wrong with the baby, she insisted that she cover my appointments for an hour so that I could go to the maternity store to buy pants that actually fit.  I still can’t fit into those jeans.

I was also incredibly sick. I don’t mean a little sick…I mean “pull over on the side of the highway” sick. People tried giving me all sorts of helpful suggestions to avoid the morning sickness (a painfully misleading term…who said anything about it being restricted to the morning?) Some told me to try crackers. Cereal. Icecream cones. Make sure you don’t eat too much at once. Make sure you never let yourself feel hungry. Nothing worked. Then my friend suggested that I tried sucking on sour candies. She said that it would make me feel better. So one day as we were driving I asked Shady to stop at a gas station, and we bought every bag of sour candy we could find. It made me feel soooo much better. The next day, I declared that I wanted NOTHING to do with sour candy. I closed my eyes as I passed them to him. “Don’t let me look at them. Don’t let me think of them. I never want to see those again.”

I guess I was slightly dramatic.

Besides being huge and incredibly sick, I was constantly hot. I would look around at people wearing long sleeves and wonder if they were okay. Surely there was something wrong with their body temperature.  And besides being hot, I was uncomfortable. Hot and uncomfortable are too really bad companions. One Sunday I announced to Shady that I just couldn’t go to church that day. Why you ask? I just couldn’t face the chairs. They were so uncomfortable. How could anyone concentrate on anything important when sitting in one of those chairs?  I really couldn’t do it. So Shady did what any loving husband would do….week after week he would haul our dining room chair to church. It didn’t help that since he was responsible for running the sound system that  we had to sit right at the very front where everyone could see my clear display of being high maintenance. I’m sure they wondered who the guest of honour was who got to sit on the big comfy chair.

On the day that I finally thought I was going into labour, I called the hospital in the middle of the night to see if they thought I should come in. The nurse informed me that what I was experiencing sounded like false labour, and that I should take a Tylenol and try to get some rest. False labour? A Tylenol? I didn’t like her answer, so I decided I was calling another hospital. Sure enough they refused to help me; they said they only dealt with patients assigned to their hospital. That was just as useful as being told to take a Tylenol, so that’s when I called Tele-health. I was ready to call everyone on my street until someone told me that yes, this was the moment, come on into the hospital and we’ll take this precious baby out of you, NOW.

Unfortunately that didn’t happen for four additional days. FOUR days of contractions! I’ve heard of one day, two days, maybe even three, but FOUR.  Surely there are medals out there for women who’ve gone through that. And if there isn’t I should inaugurate one. I’ll call it the “Contraction Extraordinaire” award…and I’ll engrave my name on it, and award it to myself.

And by the way, people say you forget the pain of your delivery. People are wrong.

I’m pretty sure I remember thinking that once I delivered,  the difficult part would be in the past. My mother had offered to come over around dinner time for the first few weeks so that she could prepare meals for us. I remember agreeing, but I’m not sure I was convinced that it was really necessary. I mean really, couldn’t I just do it while Amanda was napping? It wasn’t long before we discovered that having our mothers over at dinner time wasn’t nearly enough…I think that realization came after one short night. It was our first night at home. We went to “sleep” at 10:00. We “woke up” at 7:00. In reality Amanda had cried the entire time and I slept for one tiny little hour. I begged Shady to call our mothers. “Shady, wake up! Call your mother. Call my mother. Tell them we don’t know what we’re doing. We need them to come over right now!”

Half an hour later they arrived with bags full of supplies and insisted that we go to sleep and let them take care of things. We woke up a few hours later. The kitchen was fully stocked. Amanda was fast asleep. They sat drinking tea. They had it all under control, and it was obvious that I had a lot to learn from these godly women of experience.

As I write this, eight month old Amanda lies beside me fast asleep. All warm and cozy in her cute little sleeper, tucked under her furry blanket. Her fingers playing in the air while she lay sleeping. Her soft breath gently moving the blanket up and down. I can’t wait for her to wake up so I can receive the smile she gives me when she sees my face.

I think I can honestly say that Shady and I didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into. But what a privilege, what a blessing, what a source of joy!  Every pound gained, every side of the road experience, every sour candy that made me nauseous, every Sunday morning hauling our dining room chair to church, and every last contraction is worth the gift that comes from motherhood.

It is oh so worth it!

Happy Mother’s Day!

This is my favorite toy!

No, not for me, for Amanda! It’s a world of fun all in one corner, with the potential for keeping any child occupied for hours on end. At least that’s the way I see it.

Well, Amanda didn’t share my enthusiasm. Exhausted from carrying her while trying to tidy up around the house, I placed her amongst the penguin, piano and lion, confident that it would give me at least 15 minutes to let my arms rest. She looked up at me, let out a loud scream, and stretched out her arms in a desperate attempt to be rescued from this apparent “chamber of torture”.  Her actions were screaming “No, don’t leave me here! There’s nothing for me here! This isn’t what I want right now! Can’t you see I need more than this?”

Clearly she wasn’t seeing things from my end….maybe she just needed a little coaching. So I sat down next to her and started playing the piano. She looked at me wide eyed “Oooohh,, I didn’t know it could do that.” I pressed the little penguin’s head down and she marvelled at the sounds that he made. I placed my hand on the lion and pretended he was playing the drums…she looked at me as though I were her hero.  With patient encouragement and guidance, she began to embrace her toy for what it really was…exactly what she needed.

At the risk of spiritualizing something that is seemingly insignificant, can you see the connection to our relationship with God?

Too often, sitting at His word, my heart struggles to find enjoyment and satisfaction. In utter foolishness I entertain thoughts that say “I just can’t find anything in here that applies to me today.  This isn’t what I want right now.  I need something else.”  Yet when I turn to the Holy Spirit for wisdom and guidance, He brings the words of scripture to life, opens the eyes of my heart to see the unmatched importance, meaning and relevance of the words before me.

Looking at our lives in comparison to those around us, we may be tempted to think “Lord, I don’t have what I want. How can I be satisfied be here? Why aren’t you giving me what I know I need to be happy?” It isn’t until the Holy Spirit opens our eyes to see our circumstances for what they are…sovereignly ordained by His perfect will that our perspective can change. He shows us the blessings He has bestowed on us, helps us accept the difficulties He has allowed, and equips us to be content.

Going about our day we may struggle to see opportunities to serve the Lord. We may resolve to witness to His name, meet the needs of others, show His love in difficult circumstances.  And yet at the end of the day we may find ourselves thinking   “Guess the opportunities weren’t there today.  Maybe tomorrow He’ll bring more my way.” But when we turn to the Spirit for guidance, He opens our eyes to the many  opportunities to demonstrate His love and compassion to the world. Opportunities that our own flesh could not detect were it not for the ministry of the Holy Spirit.

“But the Helper, the Holy spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things I said to you.” John 14:26

There’s something else I realized as I sat on the floor next to Amanda. It was not so much the piano she was enjoying, but the expression on my face as the music played. It’s not the penguin she was enthralled with, but the joy she had from sitting next to me while we played together. It was our time together, and not just the toy itself that shifted her perspective, brought her joy, gave her delight. So it is when we look to the help of the Spirit. He opens our eyes to recognize the presence of God, so that wherever we are, we may find true satisfaction, because we are with the Lord.

“And I will pray to the Father and he will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever – the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for he dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” John 14:16

As with any metaphor, the comparison falls short in many ways. I’ll point out just a few. Left to herself, Amanda would eventually figure out the joy of the toys surrounding her. Not so with us…the ministry of the Spirit is not just helpful, it is essential.  Eventually I will get tired, and I’ll need to leave her with her toy so she can carry on by herself. Not so with God’s Spirit.  He doesn’t start us off and then leave us to continue on our own. No, we need Him continually, moment by moment.  And unlike Amanda who will eventually need to learn independence,  the Spirit will never leave us! As believers we are SEALED with the indwelling Spirit…He is our DEPOSIT guaranteeing what is to come!

Circumstances, from our point of view are so different from God’s perspective. Without the Holy Spirit we can never understand His Word and the riches it contains for our heart, never recognize His providential care in our circumstances, never see the opportunities for service He is continually bringing our way. It is the Holy Spirit that gives us comfort and makes us aware of the presence of God in our lives.

Oh how we desperately need the ministering of God’s Spirit in our lives.

“In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession,, to the praise of His glory.” Ephesians 1:13-14

Tomorrow is the big day…we are moving into our new house! This will be home number 12 for me (yes, much like a Nomad I have moved around a lot in my life time!) So as a seasoned move-er would you allow me to offer some “words of wisdom” on successfully relocating into a new home? Glad you agreed….here I go:

IT’S ALL ABOUT BEING ORGANIZED

Those of you who know me well know that I am super organized (annoyingly organized if that’s even possible). I love to keep lists. I actually keep lists of the lists that I have going (up to you to decide if I’m serious or making a joke). If you want the whole packing and unpacking ordeal to go smoothly, you must stay organized! For me, that means ensuring that every box I have has a definite category. Children’s books. Fictional novels. University textbooks. I have to confess…somewhere along the lines I lost complete control of the categories. I think it’s when I came across our batteries. You can’t exactly fill an entire box of batteries. So then what category does it go in? Things that give power? That’s silly. Household Items? What wouldn’t fit into that category? Next thing I knew I had a huge box with my dish rack, Amanda’s old change pad, and a Sids bath (I’d rather not explain what that is). When you reach a point like this, it’s time to start labelling your boxes “Items that don’t have a category.” You’ll trick yourself into thinking you’re still being organized….trust me, it’ll make you feel better!

DON’T GET CAUGHT UP WITH THE SMALL STUFF

We actually got the keys to our new house last Monday, so we’ve had a few people in and out of the house doing some minor changes. Yesterday was the installation of the backsplash. Hundreds of tiny little tiles all assembled side by side by someone who has way more patience then I do. So we walked into our brand new kitchen, and all I could see was this one tiny little tile that was slightly crooked. Somehow that little tile managed to scream out “Stare at me! Notice me! Forget about your brand new kitchen and look right at me when you walk into the room!” I felt myself getting so irritated…like all that mattered was this one crooked tile…couldn’t they just have put it straight? Would it have been so hard! How easy it is to get caught up trying to create an ideal home with no imperfections…something that’s completely impossible and ultimately futile. Yes, it’s nice to have a beautiful home…but it’s only temporary. So don’t get caught up with the small stuff. Sometimes I think God draws our eyes to the imperfections to remind us as Christians not to get too comfortable and satisfied with our homes here on earth; to lift our eyes upward and long for our eternal home where there is true perfection.

EVERYTHING IS A LESSON IN CHARACTER BUILDING

We’ve had to deal with many contractors over the past few months. It’s definitely something that tries your patience. No one seems to move at the pace that you expect, and when things don’t happen when and how you want them, it’s easy to see people as stumbling blocks to your plans, rather than individuals who are working hard to earn a living. Yes, our cabinets have been  installed slightly irregular – that doesn’t give me the right to talk down to anyone. The light in our front porch isn’t working – does that mean I can be rude to the site supervisor? It’s in these small dealings with people around me where our character is shown for what it is. Are we patient, gentle and gracious towards those we deal with? Does Christ shine through our attitudes?  It’s not that we can’t confront the issues and ask for them to be corrected…but ultimately every instance is an opportunity to allow Christ to shine through our attitudes, rather than obsess over claiming our rights.

REMEMBER THAT YOU’RE STILL MARRIED!

Moving can turn your marriage into somewhat of a business relationship. You become partners in this major project, and if you’re not careful you can start to speak to each other like co-workers rather than best friends. You meet to discuss what needs to be accomplished that day, you summarize your achievements at the end of the day….and periodically you meet together to sign documents and make payments. Conversations become mini staff meetings rather than opportunities to share your heart and show love and affection.. As with planning a wedding, having a child and any other major life change, the temptation is for life, and your marriage, to become all about that! I have to remember that it doesn’t matter what colour cabinets I want, where the sofa will look best or which side of the room the table should go. What ultimately matters is that I’m serving my husband and looking out for his interest and happiness. (Though for the record I’m usually right about where furniture should go!)

LEARN FROM YOUR CHIILDREN

Every time I move, I have this sad feeling when I’m leaving my old house for the very last time. I take a last look at my home that now stands completely bare. Without our belongings it is reduced to bare walls and floors…it looks sad, lonely, almost abandoned. It’s then that I remember that our home is not about the physical walls, but about the love and unity that exists within the family members. I realized this lesson even more when I brought Amanda to our new house. After working so hard to get it ready and make it exactly what we want, Amanda looked around completely unimpressed. She couldn’t care less about the colour of the floors and the upgraded mantle piece on the fireplace. All she wants is to be in our arms. To her, that’s a true home.

And ultimately, this is the believer’s true home, in the presence of the Lord. I look at how hard I work to prepare for my new home…and I’m reminded to work even harder to prepare for the day that I will be in the presence of God. I don’t mean work hard to earn may way into His presence…that’s something the cross alone can accomplish. I mean work hard to seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. Work hard for the Kingdom that is to come. Work hard for the crowns that we will one day lay down at the feet of Jesus.

Revelation 21

¹And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea.

²And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.

³And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.

⁴And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

⁵And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.

⁶And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely.

⁷He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.

Have you ever caught yourself saying the phrase “My child will never do that!”

Walking through the mall I see a child throwing a complete temper tantrum. “Ugh, my child will never act like that in public.”

Stopped at a red light I glance at the car next to me and see a teenager sitting next to his mother. Neither of them is talking. Their silence appears awkward. They almost look like strangers. “My child will actually talk to me. She’ll want to tell me everything.”

A family is sitting at a restaurant and one of the children sits in his own world, locked behind his earphones. “My child will never listen to his music while he’s sitting with me. We’re actually going to have quality time together.”

Upon reflection, I realize that the principles behind these statements are not really the problem. I truly don’t want my child to throw fits in public, ignore me when sitting right next to me, or lock me out of their world and hide in their music.   We should and must have principles outlining what we will and will not allow our children to do; how we want to raise them and what kind of relationship we want with them. It’s not only important but essential to have Biblical standards for raising our children.

I realize then that the problem with these statements is my pride. It’s in the phrase “ MY child will NEVER.” What I’m really saying is, I am  a better parent than the one I’m watching before me. I know how to do it better. I’ll get it right. I’m going to be an exceptional mother and the proof will show in my children.

Pride. My perpetual battle.  And to battle this I turn to God’s word for a reminder on the danger of this pride:

“When pride comes, then comes shame; But with the humble is wisdom.”  Proverbs 11:2

“Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall.”  Proverbs 16:18

“A man’s pride will bring him low, But the humble in spirit will retain honor. ” Proverbs 29:3

Besides the prideful heart that lies behind these statements is an ugly judgement that I’m making. It’s one thing to make a wise judgement based on what is good and right as revealed in God’s word. This is something that we are called and commanded by scripture to do. The problem lies in judging these mothers’ motives, intents, heart…something I cannot see and must leave to God alone.  I have no idea what has taken place in the minutes leading up to the moments I’ve witnessed. What kind of week has the mother had, leading her to not respond as quickly and confidently as she could have with her out of control toddler? What thoughts is the mother battling as she sits in silence next to her child? What arguments are the parents thankful to be avoiding as the child sits with them, though not in conversation with them? I know nothing of their experiences, and should be careful not to pass judgement on the efforts or success of the mothers before me.  What’s worse, after I have passed this judgement, I elevate myself, feeling as though I am so much better and will never repeat those mistakes. How foolish of me!

There are times when we will observe parenting styles that are not only unwise, but objectively sinful. Of course, the parents’ motives/intents of the heart in no way justify the behaviour. But even then, do I lift my prideful nose and conclude that I am a “greater” parent…or do I turn to God for grace to do what is right so that I do not repeat the mistakes I see before me?

I have to remind myself that any success I have with my child is because of God. He is the one who, through His word, will teach me how to parent my children. He is the one who provides me with the principles I need to teach her. He provides me with guidelines for discipline, punishment and reward. He requires me to be faithful with the role He has given me, and any success I have in her upbringing will be a result of His wisdom and faithfulness. His teachings, His guidelines, His Spirit empowering me, for His glory. And when I too display poor parenting skills, whether in private or in public (I’m sure you will catch me on several occassions) He will faithfully convict, correct and restore me. There’s absolutely no room left for my pride.

So I ask myself these questions: Have I looked down on others condescendingly, rather than lifting them up in prayer and asking that God change and mould them, bringing about their good for His glory? Are there any areas where I am experiencing success, and am tempted to take the credit? Have I compared my accomplishments to others, felt slightly superior, and then taken the glory for those accomplishments?

My answer to all of these is a shameful yes. Thank God for His patience as we are slowly changed into the image of His Son!

If you were a shoe, what kind of shoe would you be? I`m going somewhere with this…I promise.

Are you a relaxed, laid back person who doesn’t bother making lists? You’re probably a flip flop. Are you competitive, energized and always on the go? Sounds like you’re a pair of running shoes! Do you love to be at home, cuddled under a blanket on the couch, hugging your mug of hot chocolate (that would be me!)…we are the cozy slippers! Or perhaps you are a fashionista…you love to get dressed up, work a room, meet new people. You’re definitely a pair of stilettos.

My cousin and I used to love playing this game. We would think up categories and then see which item we could compare our personalities to. If you were a chocolate bar what would you be? Which icecream flavour best describes you?

How about cakes?….Oh, that’s a whole other story! It was called the cake game (I know, very creative!). It was more sophisticated than the others because it couldn’t be played just anywhere. You had to be in a grocery store – and you had to be with someone who knew you really well. So here’s how it went. You stand in front of the cake section, and each person finds the cake that best captures their personality. If you don’t know what I mean by that then you wouldn’t be very good at it. Then came the part where you see just how well you know each other. I forced my sister to play this with me al the time. She would pick the cake that she thought most represented me, and I would do the same for her. If we got it right, we’d feel a sudden surge of unity- as though selecting the right cake proved that we truly understood each other. Of course, if we were at a large bakery, such as Longos or Loblaws, this sense of understanding was even deeper.

I know these are silly games…but at the heart of them they capture questions that every person longs to answer: What am I like? How do people perceive me? What image do I project to the world? What am I known for?

What is My Identity?

Every believer is forced to ask themselves this very important question. How do I define who I am? Do I instinctively think of my characteristics and personality type (I am friendly, humorous, energetic)? Do I define myself by the roles I play (I am a wife, a mother, a daughter)? Do I define myself by my ministry and ocupation (I am a teacher, a small group leader, a worship team member)? Do I define myself by what I have accomplished in my life and what I am good at?  All of these are important – they shape our character, demonstrate our priorities, and communicate to others who we are and what we are like. But they are not the root of our identity. They are merely the fruit,the outworking of our true identity.

Let’s take a look at how several of the apostles and church fathers identified themselves when addressing their letters to the early churches:

“Paul, a bondservant of Jesus Christ…” Romans 1:1

“James, a bondservant of God and the Lord Jesus Christ..” James 1:1

“Jude, a bondservant of Jesus Christ…”  Jude 1

A bondservant is another word for a slave. This is not denoting a slave who has been forced to submit to a tyrannical master and suffer grave mistreatment and harsh injustice. On the contrary, a bondservant of Jesus Christ is one who has willingly and joyfully submitted his life to the complete devotion and service of the only One who is worthy of being our Master. John Piper’s sermon “The Author of the Greatest Letter Ever Written” really helped me to better understand the meaning of this phrase. He explains that being a bondservant means that we are bought, owned and ruled by Christ.

We are bought by Christ: “You were bought at a price, do not become slaves of men” 1 Corinthians 7:23 NKJV

We are owned by Christ: “…and you are not your own…for you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NKJV

We are ruled by Christ: “For am I now seeking the favour of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ. Galatians 1:10 NASB

This really challenges me to rethink how I define myself. Do I live like a bondservant of Christ? Do I desire that people define me as a bondservant of Christ? Is this what I am like? And when people find in me personality traits that are favorable (I am the flip flop, jelly bean and cheesecake) do I take the credit for myself thinking that I produced these traits myself … or do I give the glory to my Master for making me what He desires.

It`s not an easy truth, especially when my flesh wants to yell out “I belong to me! I own me! I rule me!” And in this battle with my flesh I need to rely daily on the power and working of the Holy Spirit to continually put to death the workings of the flesh; to lay down my pride so that I can live as a bondservant of Christ. So that my life is guided by Christ’s words outlined in Scripture, and not by my inward desires and longings. This means living by His ways, not mine. This means working for His goals for me, not mine. This means ensuring that what brings me pleasure is brought under submission to His authority.

Bondservant. Bought. Owned. Ruled. All for my good and for His glory.

Nothing you read on this blog today can ever compare to reading the actual account of Jesus’ death on the cross.  I really encourage you to stop and take some time to read John 19 which outlines the sentencing of Jesus to death, his crucifixion, and his burial. Read it slowly, as though for the first time. May the story grip our hearts anew, filling us with wonder and awe at the incomparable price paid by our Lord Jesus Christ.

I hope you will allow me to take time today to reflect on some of the reasons why I love the cross. May it encourage you to also reflect on the meaning of the cross and the impact that it has had on your own life.

As a child I had a very guilty conscience.  I felt guilty for things that I did wrong, and the things that I thought I may have done wrong by accident. I was painfully aware that sin was serious, and I had this secret fear that if people found out what a sinner I was that they wouldn’t love me anymore.

As I grew older my feelings of guilt intensified, and I began to develop methods to cope with the heavy weight of my sins. I tried everything. I would tell myself it wasn’t that bad and to just get over it. When that didn’t work I’d try to be really good – that would only last a few days. I would punish myself by giving up things that I loved, but eventually I found I was running out of things to give up. I even tried making promises to God to atone for my sins. Nothing worked. In fact, the more I tried to relieve my guilt, the more unworthy and inadequate I felt. All of my efforts remind me of the words that God spoke through the prophet Jeremiah:

“Although you wash yourself with soap and use an abundance of cleansing powder,

   the stain of your guilt is still before me,” declares the Sovereign LORD.“ Jeremiah 2:22

The world has its own repertoire of “tactics” to deal with feelings of guilt. In fact if you google “how to deal with guilt” you’ll be amazed at some of the empty suggestions you will find. Here are just a few:

• “Find a color to inspire your guilt-free existence: red for energy to combat guilt, green to heal from your guilty emotions, blue to spiritually soar above them, orange to cheerfully express yourself, yellow to use your intellect to reason your guilt away. Wear this color daily (doesn’t have to be anything big, even a ribbon is fine) and put it in your personal space to remind you.” (Dr. Debbie Mandell  http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art28129.asp)
• “The first step in overcoming guilt is seeing what value have you violated, and find a way to convince your subconscious mind that you wont do this again.” (www.2knowmyself.com)
• “The best antidote to feelings of guilt is to focus on the good things we are now doing. Whatever has happened in the past, there is always some positive contribution that anyone can start making now. If we throw ourselves into helpful, selfless activities, how can we retain feelings of guilt?” (Tejvan Pettinger     http://www.srichinmoybio.co.uk/blog/life/overcoming-persistent-guilt/)

All of these strategies have one thing in common. They are useless. They will never atone for sin, and they will never cleanse the conscience.

And Here is What I Love About The Cross

My battle with sin and guilt ultimately led me to the cross. The message of the cross did not say “don’t worry, at least you tried, make up for it next time.” On the contrary, it declares the terrible news that yes indeed I am a sinner. My guilt is not just a feeling, but a reality. But more than that the cross declares that the guilt of all those who would turn to Christ has been atoned for. Forgiveness is available, and I can be freed from my guilty standing before God.  I finally came to understand the Good News for what it is –  reeeeally good news for a reeeeally needy soul. I understood that “God demonstrates His own love for us in this, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:7

I love the cross of Christ because it provides sufficient payment for my sins… no other atonement or punishment is needed. I love the cross because it brings me forgiveness from a Holy God. I love the cross because it separates me from the guilt that plagues my soul and brings me peace with God. I love the cross because it saves my soul.

This is Good Good news. And this is why it truly is Good Friday.

²³ When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. ²⁴ “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” ²⁵ For “you were like sheep going astray,”^[a] but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls. 1 Peter 2:23-24

I took this picture when Amanda was only two days old. We were on our way home from the hospital and I was sitting nervously beside her.  I wanted to capture the moment when our two hands were entwined together, knowing that this was a picture that was literally worth a thousand words.

I have always been fascinated with hands (I know, it’s a strange fascination). Growing up I used to love walking with my grandfather hand in hand. His hands were so strong and so protective, that even as a teenager I enjoyed placing my hand in his. Looking back I think “What tasks were his hands used to accomplish in his life time? What difficulties had they sought to resolve? What hurts had they been used to sooth? For what needs had they been lifted up in prayer?”

I look down at my hands and it’s difficult to believe they are the same ones that were used to draw all those funny little pictures that my mother still keeps in her drawers.  These were the anxious fingers that scribbled down the answers during countless math exams and that answered the telephone the first time I saw Shady’s name on call display.  It was with these hands that I first flipped the pages of scripture, marvelling at the truths that were being revealed to me, and with these hands I have wiped away my tears when God’s answers were not what I had hoped for at the time.  These are the hands that placed the ring on Shady’s finger as we declared our wedding vows. And now, years later, it is with these hands that I prepare meals for my family and comb back Amanda’s hair as I kiss her delicious cheeks!

Did you know that the Bible has a lot to say about the hand of the Lord? You may be surprised if you do a study of all the places where this is mentioned in scripture. In fact, we can learn so many wonderful truths about the character of God simply by reading about the work of his hands.

“In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.”  Job 12:10

“The works of his hands are faithful and just; all his precepts are trustworthy.” Psalm 111:7

“The king’s heart is [like] channels of water in the hand of the LORD; He turns it wherever He wishes.” Proverbs 21:1

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will never forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palm of my hand.” Isaiah 49:16

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.  I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. “ John 10:27-29

What truths do we learn about the Lord from these passages?

• God is the author of life. The breath that I take at this moment is a gift from His hand.
• We can be assured that God is consistently faithful, just and trustworthy (is there anyone on earth for whom the same can be said?)
• God is sovereign over the affairs of this world. The universe is under His ruling hand.
• As believers we are eternally secure within His protective hand. Unlike the love we receive from our family and friends, there is nothing that can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus.

And What About My Hands?

I am compelled to think – to what tasks do I busy my hands?  How do the works of my hands bring glory to the Lord? 1 Corinthians 3:10-15 exhorts us to ensure that our lives are devoted to working not for what perishes and fades (though these works do have a temporal purpose, they are not what we should ultimately strive for) but for that which is eternal.

Not only am I challenged to reflect on what I am “building” with my hands, but also the attitude with which I am working and building. As humans our lives are prone to declare “See what wonderful works I have accomplished with my own two hands!”  May that never be. May our boasting never be in the work of our hands, but in the God for whom our hands must work.

“Oh for a thousand hands to raise in honour to the King!”

I really want to write a book for my daughter! In this book I would include all the lessons I’ve learned through my childhood, adolescence and early adult life.I would probably include advice on being a student, friend, wife and a mother. I’m giving myself a strict deadline…she needs to have it in her hands for her thirteenth birthday.

She’s six months old, so I’m not feeling incredibly pressed for time.

I want to share so many stories with her, in the hopes that she will get to know me, her father, and her family  members better. I’ll start with my favorite childhood memory… the time that I was five and my favorite teddy bear accidentally got thrown down the garbage chute of our apartment building. Knowing how much my teddy meant to me my father brought me down to the superintendent’s apartment and asked to be let into the garbage room so that he could sort through the garbage that had fallen from the chute. There he stood inside the dump, searching for my long lost best friend. She should definitely know this story about her grandfather.

I want to tell her about the dog walking business I ran when I was in elementary school. My mother warned me not to walk the St. Bernard across the street – she knew that dog was trouble just by looking at him. Of course I insisted she didn’t know what she was talking about and that I knew way better. When the dog bit me in the leg and I had to be taken to the hospital, my  mother hugged me tight and affirmed that no, the dog bite did not mean that I was going to die. I think there’s a lot for Amanda to learn from that story.

I’ll also tell her about the five dollar diets that my sister and I would go on regularly (that should be a good indication of how successful they were). Whoever ate junk food owed the other person five dollars for each and every offense. Hopefully this story will be a good segue on the wise use of her money.

And her father. Ohhhh her father. I pray that through my shared stories she will love and respect him as much as I do!

But even more than sharing these stories, I really want to share my heart with her. I need to articulate the Gospel to her in writing, so she can go back to it time and time again and hear my voice pleading with her to give her life to the Lord. I want this book to answer her questions. Questions like: How should I choose my friends? What do I do when I’m disliked? What does it mean to be pure? How do I pursue wisdom? What should I look for in a husband? What is expected of me as a wife? How can I love the Lord with all my heart, soul, strength and mind?

I don’t want this to be her favorite book. I want His Word to be her favorite book. But I hope to capture how her mother sought to apply the words of God to her own life, and in some way, encourage her to know how to do the same.

I also don’t want this book to be mere opinions. She’ll get enough of people’s opinions on a daily basis. No, this book needs to be different. It must be grounded in Biblical truth – every word of advice, every piece of wise counsel,  must spring from the all sufficient word of God. That’s ultimately the purpose of this book – to help her to know the All Sufficient God, through His All Sufficient Word.

Maybe she will read it when we she is too embarrassed to ask me the direct questions herself (though I hope that never happens). Maybe she’ll read it when she is far away in another country and cannot hear my voice directly. Maybe she will read it when she is angry at me, and will remember my heart towards her…perhaps it will explain why I am being so hard with her when all of her friend’s mothers let them do whatever they want.

Can I share something else with you? I hope she will read it long after I am gone…I hope it will remind her of the words I lived to engrain in her mind. I hope it will consistently draw her back to the ultimate Book, written by the ultimate Author and Perfector of our faith.

I’d love your contributions….any ideas for a title? Any suggestions on what else our daughters need to hear from their mothers? We have thirteen years…but I’d really like to get started!