Nothing you read on this blog today can ever compare to reading the actual account of Jesus’ death on the cross.  I really encourage you to stop and take some time to read John 19 which outlines the sentencing of Jesus to death, his crucifixion, and his burial. Read it slowly, as though for the first time. May the story grip our hearts anew, filling us with wonder and awe at the incomparable price paid by our Lord Jesus Christ.

I hope you will allow me to take time today to reflect on some of the reasons why I love the cross. May it encourage you to also reflect on the meaning of the cross and the impact that it has had on your own life.

As a child I had a very guilty conscience.  I felt guilty for things that I did wrong, and the things that I thought I may have done wrong by accident. I was painfully aware that sin was serious, and I had this secret fear that if people found out what a sinner I was that they wouldn’t love me anymore.

As I grew older my feelings of guilt intensified, and I began to develop methods to cope with the heavy weight of my sins. I tried everything. I would tell myself it wasn’t that bad and to just get over it. When that didn’t work I’d try to be really good – that would only last a few days. I would punish myself by giving up things that I loved, but eventually I found I was running out of things to give up. I even tried making promises to God to atone for my sins. Nothing worked. In fact, the more I tried to relieve my guilt, the more unworthy and inadequate I felt. All of my efforts remind me of the words that God spoke through the prophet Jeremiah:

“Although you wash yourself with soap and use an abundance of cleansing powder,

   the stain of your guilt is still before me,” declares the Sovereign LORD.“ Jeremiah 2:22

The world has its own repertoire of “tactics” to deal with feelings of guilt. In fact if you google “how to deal with guilt” you’ll be amazed at some of the empty suggestions you will find. Here are just a few:

• “Find a color to inspire your guilt-free existence: red for energy to combat guilt, green to heal from your guilty emotions, blue to spiritually soar above them, orange to cheerfully express yourself, yellow to use your intellect to reason your guilt away. Wear this color daily (doesn’t have to be anything big, even a ribbon is fine) and put it in your personal space to remind you.” (Dr. Debbie Mandell  http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art28129.asp)
• “The first step in overcoming guilt is seeing what value have you violated, and find a way to convince your subconscious mind that you wont do this again.” (www.2knowmyself.com)
• “The best antidote to feelings of guilt is to focus on the good things we are now doing. Whatever has happened in the past, there is always some positive contribution that anyone can start making now. If we throw ourselves into helpful, selfless activities, how can we retain feelings of guilt?” (Tejvan Pettinger     http://www.srichinmoybio.co.uk/blog/life/overcoming-persistent-guilt/)

All of these strategies have one thing in common. They are useless. They will never atone for sin, and they will never cleanse the conscience.

And Here is What I Love About The Cross

My battle with sin and guilt ultimately led me to the cross. The message of the cross did not say “don’t worry, at least you tried, make up for it next time.” On the contrary, it declares the terrible news that yes indeed I am a sinner. My guilt is not just a feeling, but a reality. But more than that the cross declares that the guilt of all those who would turn to Christ has been atoned for. Forgiveness is available, and I can be freed from my guilty standing before God.  I finally came to understand the Good News for what it is –  reeeeally good news for a reeeeally needy soul. I understood that “God demonstrates His own love for us in this, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:7

I love the cross of Christ because it provides sufficient payment for my sins… no other atonement or punishment is needed. I love the cross because it brings me forgiveness from a Holy God. I love the cross because it separates me from the guilt that plagues my soul and brings me peace with God. I love the cross because it saves my soul.

This is Good Good news. And this is why it truly is Good Friday.

²³ When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. ²⁴ “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” ²⁵ For “you were like sheep going astray,”^[a] but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls. 1 Peter 2:23-24

I will return to my post on Helen Roseveare next week, but I have been really blessed by a couple of songs this week. One is this rendition of the hymn Guide Me O Thou Great Jehovah which was written by William Williams in the 18th century, have a listen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6Odk49ZvD4&feature=autoplay&list=PL92111C83A031DA27&lf=mh_lolz&playnext=1

The other is a rendition of Anne Steels hymn Dear Refuge of My Weary Soul, which was also written in the 18th century (I wonder if they knew each other?). Have a listen to that one here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIwRiDym3Xc&feature=autoplay&list=PL92111C83A031DA27&lf=mh_lolz&playnext=2

Enjoy!

I should’ve included my dog in my intro post because I think I’ll refer to him in a few posts. He is a Golden Retriever/Lab mix and he’s almost 5 months old now. He’s full of energy, and he’s the best.

My dog and I go for walks every day, and in the midst of those walks he manages to incorporate sudden bursts of sprinting. Our sprints usually last a few seconds until herealises that he is not going to catch the bird he’s chasing. You’d think he’d learn his lesson and just stop chasing birds, but with every bird he sees it’s as if it’s a brand new experience for him, and maybe this time he’ll bring home the prize. Together, he and I have chased countless birds and have never even come close to one of them. Every time he loses one, he looks back at me with disappointment in his eyes as if to blame me for slowing him down. Maybe he’s right, maybe it’s me, or maybe it’s simply the fact that birds have wings and we don’t. I look forward to the day that the little guy learns to stop chasing the birds and just enjoy the walk.

We do that sometimes too, don’t we? We live our lives chasing after pointless things that will never truly satisfy us. God has blessed us with so many things for our enjoyment, but we have a tendency to get distracted and start chasing after one or a few of these things and forget to focus on the things that really matter. 1 John 2:15-17 explains the exact point I’m trying to make,

“Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world – the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions – is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.”

I pray that we would not give in to our urge to chase after things that are passing away, and instead, stay focused on our journey home.

I’ve been battling with fear a lot in recent weeks so I’d thought I’d share a bit of what the Lord has been teaching me and reminding me of, over the next few posts. This has been a consistent battle for me in my life and I wrote about the Lord’s grace to me through it, in a post on my old blog, several years ago. I thought I’d just start this topic off by sharing that experience with you.

———————–

Since I was a little girl I have struggled with fear. I still do now but to a different degree, and it has only seemed to intensify with the birth of my daughters. I’m not usually afraid during the day, but as soon as I lay my head on my pillow at night, I am plagued by fears, worries and anxiety. It is most always about evils in the world, and vivid imaginings of anything happening to my girls. Sometimes it gets bad enough that I need to wake my husband.

Well last night was no exception and I started to worry, but thankfully I was able to pray and sleep overwhelmed me quite quickly. I awoke this morning to read my Bible and I was completely blessed by my God, the God of Nahum.

In this book Nahum prophesied about God’s imminent judgement on Nineveh as they refused to repent. Known for the cruelty with which they treated other nations, God would now punish them and Judah could rejoice for this notorious people was about to fall. In the final verse of this book, after God has destroyed them, Nahum writes to the Ninevites, “There is no easing your hurt; your wound is grievous. All who hear the news about you clap their hands over you. For upon whom has not come your unceasing evil.”

Now, my thoughts were neither novel nor profound, but I met with my God this morning and he gave me much comfort, and much to cling to for hope.

As I read of God’s intense anger and vengeance and wrath against Nineveh, I was so quickly and humbly reminded once again that God hates wickedness and evil more than I do. God destroyed this nation because of their evil, because he hated it! Nineveh was cruel and unrepentant and this fact did not go unnoticed by God. They seemed to prosper for a time, but God was still sovereign and God would not let them continue in their ways.

So often when I lay awake at night, my flesh tells me the lie that if God hated the evils in this world as much as me, he would not allow them at all. But when I read Scripture I see clearly that this is not the case, but is in fact quite the opposite. I may not know all the details and intricacies of God’s sovereign will, nor understand why he works the way that he does, but I know that he is good, and he loves goodness and kindness, and hates sin and iniquity.

In the first chapter of Nahum, when God’s wrath and anger are being depicted, his goodness and slowness to anger are also woven right into this picture. His anger at sin and his goodness are not separated, but are so uniquely intertwined:

“The LORD is a jealous and avenging God; the LORD is avenging and wrathful; the LORD takes vengeance on his adversaries and keeps wrath for his enemies. The LORD is slow to anger and great in power, and the LORD will by no means clear the guilty.” (Nahum 1:2-3)

God’s ways are good and he is for those who take refuge in him (Nahum 1:7). By God’s grace, when I lay down to sleep tonight, the words of the Psalmist will comfort me,

“Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling” (Psalm 46: 2-3).

I took this picture when Amanda was only two days old. We were on our way home from the hospital and I was sitting nervously beside her.  I wanted to capture the moment when our two hands were entwined together, knowing that this was a picture that was literally worth a thousand words.

I have always been fascinated with hands (I know, it’s a strange fascination). Growing up I used to love walking with my grandfather hand in hand. His hands were so strong and so protective, that even as a teenager I enjoyed placing my hand in his. Looking back I think “What tasks were his hands used to accomplish in his life time? What difficulties had they sought to resolve? What hurts had they been used to sooth? For what needs had they been lifted up in prayer?”

I look down at my hands and it’s difficult to believe they are the same ones that were used to draw all those funny little pictures that my mother still keeps in her drawers.  These were the anxious fingers that scribbled down the answers during countless math exams and that answered the telephone the first time I saw Shady’s name on call display.  It was with these hands that I first flipped the pages of scripture, marvelling at the truths that were being revealed to me, and with these hands I have wiped away my tears when God’s answers were not what I had hoped for at the time.  These are the hands that placed the ring on Shady’s finger as we declared our wedding vows. And now, years later, it is with these hands that I prepare meals for my family and comb back Amanda’s hair as I kiss her delicious cheeks!

Did you know that the Bible has a lot to say about the hand of the Lord? You may be surprised if you do a study of all the places where this is mentioned in scripture. In fact, we can learn so many wonderful truths about the character of God simply by reading about the work of his hands.

“In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.”  Job 12:10

“The works of his hands are faithful and just; all his precepts are trustworthy.” Psalm 111:7

“The king’s heart is [like] channels of water in the hand of the LORD; He turns it wherever He wishes.” Proverbs 21:1

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will never forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palm of my hand.” Isaiah 49:16

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.  I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. “ John 10:27-29

What truths do we learn about the Lord from these passages?

• God is the author of life. The breath that I take at this moment is a gift from His hand.
• We can be assured that God is consistently faithful, just and trustworthy (is there anyone on earth for whom the same can be said?)
• God is sovereign over the affairs of this world. The universe is under His ruling hand.
• As believers we are eternally secure within His protective hand. Unlike the love we receive from our family and friends, there is nothing that can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus.

And What About My Hands?

I am compelled to think – to what tasks do I busy my hands?  How do the works of my hands bring glory to the Lord? 1 Corinthians 3:10-15 exhorts us to ensure that our lives are devoted to working not for what perishes and fades (though these works do have a temporal purpose, they are not what we should ultimately strive for) but for that which is eternal.

Not only am I challenged to reflect on what I am “building” with my hands, but also the attitude with which I am working and building. As humans our lives are prone to declare “See what wonderful works I have accomplished with my own two hands!”  May that never be. May our boasting never be in the work of our hands, but in the God for whom our hands must work.

“Oh for a thousand hands to raise in honour to the King!”

The prologue (which we went through last week), ends with Dr. Roseveare reflecting of Mark 12:29-31 where Jesus reminds us of what the greatest commandments are:

“…’Hear O Israel! The Lord our God is one Lord; and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbour as yourself.’ There is no other commandment than these.”

The rest of the book is essentially a more detailed reflection on what it will actually cost us to love God in this way, the first chapter dealing with what it means to love God with all of our heart. Again, the chapter is packed with stories, beginning with her arrival in the Congo. She was thrilled to be there and “couldn’t wait to become one with the people,” no matter what the cultural or dietary barriers were (30).  And those never seem to be a problem for her (she attributes that to her upbringing during WWII). In each and every situation Dr. Roseveare draws our attention to the reality that the problem was primarily with her heart. I will share one story with you in this post (though it is really hard to choose…she draws such amazing lessons from them all!).

She recalls the time when she felt God was re-emphasizing a particular lesson in her life – a lesson in dying to self. She was ill with Malaria and Jaundice (and probably just mere physical and emotional exhaustion), but was informed that another missionary was now in need of her medical services (I believe she promised them her services at a previous time, before she was very ill). The woman in need was about to deliver a baby, and because their only vehicle was not working and because of past complications, they needed her to come to them as soon as possible. Dr. Roseveare responded to them with a letter explaining that she would come as soon as she was able to travel and suggested that they try to make their way to a nearby hospital. The couple received the letter, but in an abrupt almost annoyed response “practically demanded” that she go immediately. She agreed to go, but was angry. Her leader at that time saw what she was going through and attempted to counsel her by reminding her of the couple’s situation – alone in the forest with no readily available transportation about to give birth in very dangerous circumstances, circumstances which could result in the death of both mother and child. They were not thinking of her sickness, and if they were, it paled in comparison to their needs at that moment. Dr. Roseveare heard what he was saying, but was “nursing [her] own grievance, and [her] right to be hurt by their apparent selfishness.” (39) Assuring her that he respected her decision to go and help them, her leader then asks her to do something remarkable (I think), and to do it for Christ’s sake:

…Just die to yourself, Helen, and the Lord will bless you….You are going there to help them. Don’t waste your time justifying your delay, or underlining your virtue in going at all. You are going as Christ’s servant. You’ll only regret anything you say in hast or in anger: and most probably it would only be in self-defense or self-justification. Can you no trust God with all that? The Lord, when he was reviled, reviled not in return, but He trusted Him who judges rightly (1 Pet. 2:21-24). If you can accept that to these two your delay has cause distress and anxiety, God will help you to go to them in humility and to ask their forgiveness for it. (40)

Can you imagine! Being asked in that situation to humble yourself and be the one to ask for forgiveness. I know what a struggle it would be for me. But Dr. Roseveare looks back on that situation and sees how God was teaching her…and she was “slowly learning.” Learning that to love God with all of her heart meant that she would have to forgo her rights in some situations so that, as she saw it, God could love others through her. It was a higher goal that she found herself dimly groping towards (41).

I feel challenged when I read this story and Dr. Roseveare’s subsequent reflection on it. Am I willing to love others this way? Am I willing to hand my heart over to God in this way? It seems so painful and counterintuitive. But perhaps this is the way of the Christian life. I hear often that we are to do what at times feels like death, and I think that is a very helpful thought. It may feel right to defend yourself and stand up for your rights (and sometimes it is). But what will come of it? Who will get the glory? Whose name are you really concerned about? It is not our feelings that should guide us, but rather a commitment to give ourselves over to one who gave himself for us, even if it means death.

This week I thought I’d share sections from one of my favourite chapters in one of my favourite books. The book is called Knowing God, by J.I. Packer and the chapter is titled, God’s Wisdom and Ours. If you’re ever looking for a challenging book that is jam-packed with sound doctrine and sound direction for Christian living, this is a must read. Every now and then life throws something at me that reminds me of the ideas presented in this chapter; it’s usually a conversation with someone, a circumstance, or just some of my own thoughts.  This reminder is the exact kind of wake-up call we probably all need at times. I think you’ll see what I mean as you read on.

“Not till we have become humble and teachable, standing in awe of God’s holiness and sovereignty, acknowledging our own littleness, distrusting our own thoughts and willing to have our minds turned upside down, can divine wisdom become ours. 

It is to be feared that many Christians spend all their lives in too unhumbled and conceited a frame of mind ever to gain wisdom from God at all. Not for nothing does Scripture say, ‘with the lowly is wisdom’ (Proverbs 11:2).”

“To live wisely, you have to be clear-sighted and realistic – ruthlessly so – in looking at life as it is. Wisdom will not go with comforting illusions, false sentiment, or the use of rose-colored glasses. Most of us live in a dream world, with our heads in the clouds and our feet off the ground; we never see the world, and our lives in it, as they really are. This deep-seated, sin-bred unrealism is one reason why there is so little wisdom among us – even the soundest and most orthodox of us.”

Packer paints a pretty bleak and scary picture for us, and basically says that none of us are exempt from this faulty thinking. Imagine he ended the chapter there? Thankfully, he goes on to dig into the book of Ecclesiastes to draw out some basic principles for us to live by. He advises us to,

“Live in the present, and enjoy it thoroughly (Ecclesiastes 7:14; 9:7-10; 11:9-10); present pleasures are God’s good gifts. Though Ecclesiastes condemns flippancy (7:4-6), he clearly has no time for the superspirituality which is too proud or too pious ever to laugh and have fun.” 

I love that! Wisdom doesn’t mean men walking around in robes, stroking their long beards, and slowly nodding at all of life’s experiences. We don’t need to walk around with serious faces on, almost in tears about life and its difficult existence, but for some reason many of us associate wisdom with a pattern of solemn living. Having fun and enjoying all of God’s current blessings such as, our families, friends, jobs, all of your pinterests (without striving to become Jack ;)), sports, the Leafs (except last night), it is all a part of living wisely.

We do not have to know it all, in fact we can’t, and there is trouble in thinking that we’re even close. I’ll end off with my favourite quote in this chapter, and I hope you find it as encouraging as I did.

“…it is not a sharing in all his knowledge, but a disposition to confess that he is wise, and to cleave to him and live for him in the light of his Word through thick and thin.”

You know that saying about Jack? The one that goes something like this….”I’m a Jack of all trades, but master of none”. Yeah, that one. We hear that and we’re supposed to think, poor Jack, he’s not a master of anything. That poor guy!

Well, that’s not me. I don’t think that about Jack and I’m not Jack. In fact, being Jack sounds pretty great to me. Sadly, I’m more like Jack’s friend. I see all the cool things he can do, and I like them, all of them, and I want to do them too. I want my cupboards to look like this, and I want to be able to decorate like this and dress like this.  So I try, quickly realize I can’t manage and then I’m sad.

So what is this? What is it in me that longs to be good at these things or even just do these things? I get so easily caught up in the hustle bustle of this world.  I look here and think “wow”, and I look there and I think, “amazing”.  I want to do that! I want to be like Jack!

There’s nothing wrong with that right? Nothing wrong with trying to better myself and accomplish more right?  Well maybe not. But maybe just maybe the problem is that I’m looking for comfort in this world to a degree that would only be appropriate if this world were all there was—if this was it.

And that’s exactly why this is an issue for me. This world isn’t all that there is. And here I am attempting to store up treasures, as though it were. It’s like I’m a pregnant woman, and I’m “building my nest” in someone else’s home. 

Jack and all his abilities distract me. They make me forget that this isn’t my home. In his book, Adopted For Life, Russell Moore reminds us that this “terrestrial orphanage” that we like to think is our home is a pit compared to what awaits us. Living in North America can do that. We can forget that we’re suffering and just strive after making ourselves all cozy like here on earth.

1 Peter reminds us too that we are exiles and sojourners in this land and we have an imperishable, undefiled and unfading inheritance awaiting us in glory. The God of all grace will be there to welcome us to our true and eternal home and yet I insist on longing for more organized shelves, more than I long for that.

Maybe I don’t need to be so jealous of Jack …