I’ve been struggling with evangelizing at work for a while now, and more recently the struggle has been intensifying. Every day I find myself battling the fear of losing my job versus the fear of missing out on opportunities to share the Gospel with people I meet, and I shamefully admit that the fear of losing my job often wins the battle. The other day I heard a sermon preached by Paul McDonald titled, Fear and Heart Allegiances in Evangelism. I was challenged to think about where my allegiances lie. Paul preached from Matthew 10:24-39, and the message was both convicting and encouraging. I know I’m not the only one battling this fear regularly, whether at work, with friends, with family or strangers, we all fear what people may think of us or the loses we may face if we share the Gospel. In the sermon, Paul says it exactly how it is, “We fear pain because we value comfort.”  I personally fear losing my job because I enjoy the work I do and it provides me with financial security; two things I find comfort in. How foolish of me to forfeit opportunities to obey my Lord and Saviour for fear of losing something that He provided. Whether I keep my job or lose it, will be up to Him just the same way it was when I got hired. Of course when I put it as plainly as that, it seems completely irrational, but in the moment I have a million ‘justifiable’ reasons as to why I should stay silent. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be thoughtful and wise about when and how we witness, but sometimes I know I can be so thoughtful that before I know it, the opportunity is gone. I’m working on finding a balance.

Paul also says, “Fear exposes allegiances, and that’s why we should listen very closely to our fears.” If I am aware enough to see that I’m making decisions based on my fear of loss and suffering at the expense of obeying the command to share the Gospel, that means I need to change the things/people I’ve aligned my heart with. I’m thankful to God for providing not only the awareness, but also the grace to do something about it. If I could, I would quote Paul’s entire sermon, but you should probably just click on the link and give it a listen yourself. He is clear in presenting the Scripture as it applies not only to the disciples in Jesus’ time, but to us as well, as followers of Christ.

I’ll end off  by sharing a prayer from The Valley of Vision (Maja wrote a bit about this awesome book of prayers last week, if you want to know more about it click on “What I’m Reading”).

Divine Support

Thou Art The Blessed God,
Happy in thyself,
Source of happiness in thy creatures,
My Maker, Benefactor, Proprietor, Upholder.
Thou hast produced and sustained me,
Supported and indulged me,
Saved and kept me;
Thou art in every situation able to meet my needs and miseries.
May I live by thee,
Live for thee,
Never be satisfied with my Christian progress
But as I resemble Christ;
And may conformity to his principles, temper,
And conduct grow hourly in my life.
Let thy unexampled love constrain me into holy obedience,
And render my duty my delight.
If others deem my faith folly,
My meekness infirmity,
My zeal madness,
My hope delusion,
My actions hypocrisy,
May I rejoice to suffer for thy name.
Keep me walking steadfastly towards the country
Of everlasting delights,
That paradise-land which is my true inheritance.
Support me by strength of heaven
That I may never turn back,
Or desire false pleasures
That wilt and disappear into nothing.
As I pursue my heavenly journey by thy grace
Let me be known as a man with no aim
But that of a burning desire for thee,
And the good and salvation of my fellow men.

“Our hope is beyond this life” – Paul McDonald

Well, winter has come and gone (kinda, it never really came it seemed), but I’m still making some soups before the weather gets too warm! This is an easy, meaty and hearty soup and it’s mostly done in the slow cooker.

Enjoy!

Beef, Barley and Mushroom Soup

Ingredients

If you were a shoe, what kind of shoe would you be? I`m going somewhere with this…I promise.

Are you a relaxed, laid back person who doesn’t bother making lists? You’re probably a flip flop. Are you competitive, energized and always on the go? Sounds like you’re a pair of running shoes! Do you love to be at home, cuddled under a blanket on the couch, hugging your mug of hot chocolate (that would be me!)…we are the cozy slippers! Or perhaps you are a fashionista…you love to get dressed up, work a room, meet new people. You’re definitely a pair of stilettos.

My cousin and I used to love playing this game. We would think up categories and then see which item we could compare our personalities to. If you were a chocolate bar what would you be? Which icecream flavour best describes you?

How about cakes?….Oh, that’s a whole other story! It was called the cake game (I know, very creative!). It was more sophisticated than the others because it couldn’t be played just anywhere. You had to be in a grocery store – and you had to be with someone who knew you really well. So here’s how it went. You stand in front of the cake section, and each person finds the cake that best captures their personality. If you don’t know what I mean by that then you wouldn’t be very good at it. Then came the part where you see just how well you know each other. I forced my sister to play this with me al the time. She would pick the cake that she thought most represented me, and I would do the same for her. If we got it right, we’d feel a sudden surge of unity- as though selecting the right cake proved that we truly understood each other. Of course, if we were at a large bakery, such as Longos or Loblaws, this sense of understanding was even deeper.

I know these are silly games…but at the heart of them they capture questions that every person longs to answer: What am I like? How do people perceive me? What image do I project to the world? What am I known for?

What is My Identity?

Every believer is forced to ask themselves this very important question. How do I define who I am? Do I instinctively think of my characteristics and personality type (I am friendly, humorous, energetic)? Do I define myself by the roles I play (I am a wife, a mother, a daughter)? Do I define myself by my ministry and ocupation (I am a teacher, a small group leader, a worship team member)? Do I define myself by what I have accomplished in my life and what I am good at?  All of these are important – they shape our character, demonstrate our priorities, and communicate to others who we are and what we are like. But they are not the root of our identity. They are merely the fruit,the outworking of our true identity.

Let’s take a look at how several of the apostles and church fathers identified themselves when addressing their letters to the early churches:

“Paul, a bondservant of Jesus Christ…” Romans 1:1

“James, a bondservant of God and the Lord Jesus Christ..” James 1:1

“Jude, a bondservant of Jesus Christ…”  Jude 1

A bondservant is another word for a slave. This is not denoting a slave who has been forced to submit to a tyrannical master and suffer grave mistreatment and harsh injustice. On the contrary, a bondservant of Jesus Christ is one who has willingly and joyfully submitted his life to the complete devotion and service of the only One who is worthy of being our Master. John Piper’s sermon “The Author of the Greatest Letter Ever Written” really helped me to better understand the meaning of this phrase. He explains that being a bondservant means that we are bought, owned and ruled by Christ.

We are bought by Christ: “You were bought at a price, do not become slaves of men” 1 Corinthians 7:23 NKJV

We are owned by Christ: “…and you are not your own…for you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NKJV

We are ruled by Christ: “For am I now seeking the favour of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ. Galatians 1:10 NASB

This really challenges me to rethink how I define myself. Do I live like a bondservant of Christ? Do I desire that people define me as a bondservant of Christ? Is this what I am like? And when people find in me personality traits that are favorable (I am the flip flop, jelly bean and cheesecake) do I take the credit for myself thinking that I produced these traits myself … or do I give the glory to my Master for making me what He desires.

It`s not an easy truth, especially when my flesh wants to yell out “I belong to me! I own me! I rule me!” And in this battle with my flesh I need to rely daily on the power and working of the Holy Spirit to continually put to death the workings of the flesh; to lay down my pride so that I can live as a bondservant of Christ. So that my life is guided by Christ’s words outlined in Scripture, and not by my inward desires and longings. This means living by His ways, not mine. This means working for His goals for me, not mine. This means ensuring that what brings me pleasure is brought under submission to His authority.

Bondservant. Bought. Owned. Ruled. All for my good and for His glory.

So, I tired writing my post last night…and fell asleep. Then I was determined to write it this morning…and didn’t wake up in time. Now at this point, things have the potential of getting very ugly. I start to panic, feel like I have failed, and the pressure to write becomes too much to bear. I was definitely headed down that path, until it hit me – I am supposed to enjoy this! That simple thought allowed me the freedom to do this: post a link!! It is not what I intended to do, but it is what I am doing…and now that I feel the freedom to, I am doing it with great delight.

So here you are. I found this on Thabiti Anyabwile’s blog and have watched it several times over. It is called Ready or Not? and it is spoken word/theatre portraying Christ and His Bride. Enjoy…

http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/thabitianyabwile/2011/11/24/ready-or-not/

Here is a video that made me laugh really hard. Hope you guys enjoy it.

Nothing you read on this blog today can ever compare to reading the actual account of Jesus’ death on the cross.  I really encourage you to stop and take some time to read John 19 which outlines the sentencing of Jesus to death, his crucifixion, and his burial. Read it slowly, as though for the first time. May the story grip our hearts anew, filling us with wonder and awe at the incomparable price paid by our Lord Jesus Christ.

I hope you will allow me to take time today to reflect on some of the reasons why I love the cross. May it encourage you to also reflect on the meaning of the cross and the impact that it has had on your own life.

As a child I had a very guilty conscience.  I felt guilty for things that I did wrong, and the things that I thought I may have done wrong by accident. I was painfully aware that sin was serious, and I had this secret fear that if people found out what a sinner I was that they wouldn’t love me anymore.

As I grew older my feelings of guilt intensified, and I began to develop methods to cope with the heavy weight of my sins. I tried everything. I would tell myself it wasn’t that bad and to just get over it. When that didn’t work I’d try to be really good – that would only last a few days. I would punish myself by giving up things that I loved, but eventually I found I was running out of things to give up. I even tried making promises to God to atone for my sins. Nothing worked. In fact, the more I tried to relieve my guilt, the more unworthy and inadequate I felt. All of my efforts remind me of the words that God spoke through the prophet Jeremiah:

“Although you wash yourself with soap and use an abundance of cleansing powder,

   the stain of your guilt is still before me,” declares the Sovereign LORD.“ Jeremiah 2:22

The world has its own repertoire of “tactics” to deal with feelings of guilt. In fact if you google “how to deal with guilt” you’ll be amazed at some of the empty suggestions you will find. Here are just a few:

• “Find a color to inspire your guilt-free existence: red for energy to combat guilt, green to heal from your guilty emotions, blue to spiritually soar above them, orange to cheerfully express yourself, yellow to use your intellect to reason your guilt away. Wear this color daily (doesn’t have to be anything big, even a ribbon is fine) and put it in your personal space to remind you.” (Dr. Debbie Mandell  http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art28129.asp)
• “The first step in overcoming guilt is seeing what value have you violated, and find a way to convince your subconscious mind that you wont do this again.” (www.2knowmyself.com)
• “The best antidote to feelings of guilt is to focus on the good things we are now doing. Whatever has happened in the past, there is always some positive contribution that anyone can start making now. If we throw ourselves into helpful, selfless activities, how can we retain feelings of guilt?” (Tejvan Pettinger     http://www.srichinmoybio.co.uk/blog/life/overcoming-persistent-guilt/)

All of these strategies have one thing in common. They are useless. They will never atone for sin, and they will never cleanse the conscience.

And Here is What I Love About The Cross

My battle with sin and guilt ultimately led me to the cross. The message of the cross did not say “don’t worry, at least you tried, make up for it next time.” On the contrary, it declares the terrible news that yes indeed I am a sinner. My guilt is not just a feeling, but a reality. But more than that the cross declares that the guilt of all those who would turn to Christ has been atoned for. Forgiveness is available, and I can be freed from my guilty standing before God.  I finally came to understand the Good News for what it is –  reeeeally good news for a reeeeally needy soul. I understood that “God demonstrates His own love for us in this, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:7

I love the cross of Christ because it provides sufficient payment for my sins… no other atonement or punishment is needed. I love the cross because it brings me forgiveness from a Holy God. I love the cross because it separates me from the guilt that plagues my soul and brings me peace with God. I love the cross because it saves my soul.

This is Good Good news. And this is why it truly is Good Friday.

²³ When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. ²⁴ “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” ²⁵ For “you were like sheep going astray,”^[a] but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls. 1 Peter 2:23-24

I will return to my post on Helen Roseveare next week, but I have been really blessed by a couple of songs this week. One is this rendition of the hymn Guide Me O Thou Great Jehovah which was written by William Williams in the 18th century, have a listen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6Odk49ZvD4&feature=autoplay&list=PL92111C83A031DA27&lf=mh_lolz&playnext=1

The other is a rendition of Anne Steels hymn Dear Refuge of My Weary Soul, which was also written in the 18th century (I wonder if they knew each other?). Have a listen to that one here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIwRiDym3Xc&feature=autoplay&list=PL92111C83A031DA27&lf=mh_lolz&playnext=2

Enjoy!

I should’ve included my dog in my intro post because I think I’ll refer to him in a few posts. He is a Golden Retriever/Lab mix and he’s almost 5 months old now. He’s full of energy, and he’s the best.

My dog and I go for walks every day, and in the midst of those walks he manages to incorporate sudden bursts of sprinting. Our sprints usually last a few seconds until herealises that he is not going to catch the bird he’s chasing. You’d think he’d learn his lesson and just stop chasing birds, but with every bird he sees it’s as if it’s a brand new experience for him, and maybe this time he’ll bring home the prize. Together, he and I have chased countless birds and have never even come close to one of them. Every time he loses one, he looks back at me with disappointment in his eyes as if to blame me for slowing him down. Maybe he’s right, maybe it’s me, or maybe it’s simply the fact that birds have wings and we don’t. I look forward to the day that the little guy learns to stop chasing the birds and just enjoy the walk.

We do that sometimes too, don’t we? We live our lives chasing after pointless things that will never truly satisfy us. God has blessed us with so many things for our enjoyment, but we have a tendency to get distracted and start chasing after one or a few of these things and forget to focus on the things that really matter. 1 John 2:15-17 explains the exact point I’m trying to make,

“Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world – the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions – is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.”

I pray that we would not give in to our urge to chase after things that are passing away, and instead, stay focused on our journey home.

I’ve been battling with fear a lot in recent weeks so I’d thought I’d share a bit of what the Lord has been teaching me and reminding me of, over the next few posts. This has been a consistent battle for me in my life and I wrote about the Lord’s grace to me through it, in a post on my old blog, several years ago. I thought I’d just start this topic off by sharing that experience with you.

———————–

Since I was a little girl I have struggled with fear. I still do now but to a different degree, and it has only seemed to intensify with the birth of my daughters. I’m not usually afraid during the day, but as soon as I lay my head on my pillow at night, I am plagued by fears, worries and anxiety. It is most always about evils in the world, and vivid imaginings of anything happening to my girls. Sometimes it gets bad enough that I need to wake my husband.

Well last night was no exception and I started to worry, but thankfully I was able to pray and sleep overwhelmed me quite quickly. I awoke this morning to read my Bible and I was completely blessed by my God, the God of Nahum.

In this book Nahum prophesied about God’s imminent judgement on Nineveh as they refused to repent. Known for the cruelty with which they treated other nations, God would now punish them and Judah could rejoice for this notorious people was about to fall. In the final verse of this book, after God has destroyed them, Nahum writes to the Ninevites, “There is no easing your hurt; your wound is grievous. All who hear the news about you clap their hands over you. For upon whom has not come your unceasing evil.”

Now, my thoughts were neither novel nor profound, but I met with my God this morning and he gave me much comfort, and much to cling to for hope.

As I read of God’s intense anger and vengeance and wrath against Nineveh, I was so quickly and humbly reminded once again that God hates wickedness and evil more than I do. God destroyed this nation because of their evil, because he hated it! Nineveh was cruel and unrepentant and this fact did not go unnoticed by God. They seemed to prosper for a time, but God was still sovereign and God would not let them continue in their ways.

So often when I lay awake at night, my flesh tells me the lie that if God hated the evils in this world as much as me, he would not allow them at all. But when I read Scripture I see clearly that this is not the case, but is in fact quite the opposite. I may not know all the details and intricacies of God’s sovereign will, nor understand why he works the way that he does, but I know that he is good, and he loves goodness and kindness, and hates sin and iniquity.

In the first chapter of Nahum, when God’s wrath and anger are being depicted, his goodness and slowness to anger are also woven right into this picture. His anger at sin and his goodness are not separated, but are so uniquely intertwined:

“The LORD is a jealous and avenging God; the LORD is avenging and wrathful; the LORD takes vengeance on his adversaries and keeps wrath for his enemies. The LORD is slow to anger and great in power, and the LORD will by no means clear the guilty.” (Nahum 1:2-3)

God’s ways are good and he is for those who take refuge in him (Nahum 1:7). By God’s grace, when I lay down to sleep tonight, the words of the Psalmist will comfort me,

“Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling” (Psalm 46: 2-3).