What is it about grandparents? There’s some sort of other-wordly bond that seems to be created between a grandparent and grandchild. It’s quite different from that of a parent to their child. I can’t describe exactly what kind of a love and a joy it is to be a grandchild of a grandparent (specifically a grandmother), who has truly loved and invested in you from the moment you were born.

My Lola (the Filipino word for grandma) is 95. Today she has probably spent a long period of time being fed slowly, in small bite size pieces, by my aunt who is taking care of her. She probably got up, only with the help of others, and in much pain, into a wheel chair. Here muscles have atrophied for the most part since she no longer is able to get up and move around. Any thoughts that she’s wanted to speak have been forced out in garbled sounds, no real cohesion to much of what she says. Even though there are many people around her that love her, she will quickly forget their names, or most likely not even remember them at all. About five years ago, she began to display signs of Alzheimer’s, and a few years after that, was diagnosed with a  form of the disease called dimentia. She can go between extremes of anger and great sweetness and tenderness. A few years ago when I visited her in New Mexico, and the effects of the disease were becoming very evident, I couldn’t believe how differently she appeared to me. My only knowledge of her has been memories of tenderness, a great sense of humour, and a really deep love that was displayed in all she did towards her family, and most of all, towards the Lord. To see her, forgetting who I was, unable to communicate her thoughts, and often easily irritated, was a very difficult thing.

Over the past few years, our visits have been sporadic because of the distance between us, but thankfully, she was able to come to my wedding three years ago with the help of my aunt and uncle, and now, last week was able to join our entire family at the beach for family vacation. And in spite of all her struggles, what an encouragement she was once again!

This is what I will remember most about my grandmother. I know she has not passed away, yet for all of us it’s not a question of “if”, but rather “when”. She knew Jesus. They were and are still very close. Growing up, I remember I would often walk into her room early in the morning to find her quietly, solemnly, focused in prayer, bible reading, or singing hymns. Even as a little girl, I knew that those times were not to be interrupted. Not because I was afraid that I’d upset her, but because I knew that what she was doing was very important. If I, or anyone else ever brought her a prayer request, you could be sure that she would take it most seriously and spend considerable time carrying you before the Lord. Every birthday, even though I lived miles apart, she’d send me a special card with a verse or some words of encouragement. In 2005, I had the great privilege of helping lead a Bible camp in the Philippines alongside Georgie. We went there in part to meet my Lola and help bring her back to the States. While we were there, she was a tremendous source of encouragement to us about our mission work. She was throughly interested in all that we were doing, and had many words to say in order to spur us on. I remember sitting outside with some friends one afternoon, while we were teaching each other some songs to be sung at the camp. My Lola walked by, and proceeded to join us in song. At the end she said, “Do it again, but with more enthusiasm. You are singing to the Lord!”. She is one of the wisest people I know. I can still think of a few proverbs that she would often say that have really stuck with me even now. On that same trip, I remember going into her room one evening, overcome with worries about something or another, and sitting on her bed, pouring out my heart to her. She was an excellent listener. Yes she advised me. But what I remember the most about that evening was the time we spent in prayer together. I know that for each of her children, and her grandchildren, her greatest concern was that they would know Jesus as their Lord and Saviour. And our bond with one another had the added sweetness of sibblingship in Christ. What freedom there was to speak openly and honestly with each other, to share our joy in the Lord! This is what I felt made us even closer than we would have been otherwise. A few years ago, I was visiting her and spent some time in her room looking at her collection of family photos and other personal items. She is not someone who owned much in this life. The few things she always had when she travelled were her Bible, her hymn book, and a small journal. I came upon these little journals and flipped through and noticed dates going back all the way to when I was born, and even before. In it were lists of people and things she was praying for. When I caught my name time and time again, from years back, I was struck. How many of these prayers had God answered? I’m sure countless ones! It was such a testimony to God’s faithfulness through my Lola. To read of things she had prayed for, and then to know that He had answered them, was beyond me. They knew each other well. She prayed, not as a futile exercise, but as a form of consistent warfare. She was always fighting in prayer and I am sure that she has dealt many blows as a result of all her hours on her knees. And after all these years, that is the legacy that I know I will be left with. Her investment in this life has not been primarily an earthly one, but for the world to come. I wonder how many souls will meet her in heaven and see and hear of her prayers on their behalf that were answered. Yes, she’ll be remembered for being loving, and kind. Most definitely! But I know, that her testimony of faithfulness will shine on that day.

I am not going to forget my most recent encounters with her. At the beach last week, my mom and I both spent some time reading scripture to her. She was tearing. Although she can’t speak, and can barely communicate, she remembers the Word. She can hear words of hymns, and they are ingrained upon her heart. God has not left her. He promised His people that He would never leave or forsake them. All her years in the Word have left it imprinted on her heart, unable to be removed by the sands of time and the destruction of disease. I was telling her a few months ago on another visit that she can’t forget that even when she feels alone, the Lord is always with her. I asked her “Lola, do you know that?”, and she said “I know.” That to me is such a testimony of God’s goodness. To be at her age, with a disease that has rendered you incapable of almost anything, and yet to have the confidence that the Lord is good, and He is by your side, is more valuable than any insurance policy that the world could offer. How can one face death, with that kind of fearlessness? When you know the one who holds the keys of death and life in His hands, and has overcome it, then you are at rest.

I had chosen this verse to put on the back of the programs at my wedding because it reminded me of my Lola, but more importantly, it reminded me of who my God is. It is Psalm 71:18 and it reads “So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come.” He has not forsaken her. He has given her that great privilege to testify of His might to several generations, and His power is still being displayed in her small, frail body. O Lord- make that our testimony too. May we be shown as faithful until the very end. Even in our old age (if you would have us live long), let our lives show that you are our greatest treasure and that sickness and death cannot separate us from the love that is shown to us in Christ Jesus. Amen.

Here are a few more words through pictures from the great Dr. Martin Lloyd Jones’ sermons on “Spiritual Depression”.

In order to know how to deal with spiritual depression, Lloyd Jones says that firstly that, unless there is “a conviction of sin, and if you do not realize that you are unworthy before God, and that you are utterly condemned and a complete failure before God, pay attention to nothing else until you have it, until you come to this realization, because you will never find joy, you will never get rid of your depression until you are right about that. Conviction of sin is an essential preliminary to a  true experience of salvation.” It must sound counterintuitive to say that in order to be joyful or truly happy, you need to feel condemned, convicted, and unworthy. But this is the truth. Jesus taught this in the Sermon on the Mount. Blessed are those who mourn, because knowing the truth about our sinful and helpless state is the only thing that will cause us to realize our need for Christ. Otherwise, we live as fools, trying self-salvation projects of all sorts, and depending on our own “righteousness”. Therefore, if this conviction of our guilt before God is not in place, we will never turn to Him, and as a result, we will never truly be able to deal with our spiritual depression. How many people believe they were saved because of an emotional experience, signing a card, or raising a hand and saying a prayer, but never felt a conviction of their sin? If a person has never truly understood the way of salvation, all their beliefs and efforts will be more or less useless. Once again, I can’t say it better than him, so here are a few excerpts from one of the chapters of his book.

Summer is in full effect here in the Tdot. We are experiencing some serious heat! Trying to stay cool is a full-time job so in order to make the mugginess less burdensome I do things like bake stuff with the oven on high and then spend the next hour washing the dishes and working up a sweat. Which then leads to me getting even more hot, and then having to jump in the pool as a refresher! Times are hard. Some people like to do cool things like MapMyRun and post these great statuses on Twitter and Facebook that say things like “I completed my run in 20 minutes. I ran 10 kilometres!” Wow seriously? I don’t know anything about that kind of workout these days. Working out for me is limited to things like carrying a 30 pound baby around for at least an hour a day. Ummm, come to my house and I’ll show you how to add about 1000 extra calories to your day- that’s what I’m good at working out. So, right now, don’t come to me for advice on how to stay fit- come to me for help with eating. Because that, my friends, is something I am really good at. I’m not saying I’m good at making it all, but I’m trying and along the way I’m learning fun things that I want to share with you. So here it goes: I’ll give you a few things to chew on literally. My top five things to make/bake for the summer, and my top five places to eat and hang in the city.

EATING:

1) Make this cake. It’s super easy and you can substitute other fruit toppings. I did blueberries with lime zest and I’m sure you could do the rest of the berry family as well. Great to throw together for people coming over for dinner.

2) Make these meringues with fresh fruit: This was a little recipe I happened upon in Bon Appetit and I love it! It’s so refreshing and for those who are actually watching their calories, if you do it without the ice cream, I’m sure it won’t be to heavy. The French know their food so just trust them, you can’t go wrong.

3) Make this salad: This salad is a winner. It’s beautiful to look at and beautiful to eat (is there such a thing as beautiful to eat?? If not, I’m coining that because really beauty should be a verb and I feel something magnificent when I eat good food!). I used Stilton blue cheese instead of goat, which I prefer. The sharpness adds some punch to the dish.

4) Make this Salad Nicoise for your dinner: Again with the French. I’m telling you, they know their stuff! Nicoise refers to the region the salad originates from, and the type of olive you should use, but I sub in Kalamatas and I think they taste just fine. The potatoes, beans, and boiled egg make it a hearty meal, not just some wimpy salad dressed up as a main dish.

5) Make these spare ribs: These are crowd pleasers. Kalbi is a traditional type of Korean meat dish. The cut is thinner than traditional short ribs so you probably have to go to a Korean grocer like Galleria to find these, but they sell the marinade and all you have to do is put them in to soak overnight in the fridge, and maybe add some chopped garlic and you’re good to go. The link here is for a homemade marinade, but I personally have only used the store-bought version and I love it. These will not disappoint! Plan for about 4-5 per person.

PLACES TO GO:

1) Starbucks. Enough said

2) Menchies. Enough said

3) Terroni: I love the atmosphere at this place. It’s not so much a summer place, as it is an all year-round type of restaurant with great pasta and pizza.

4) Boiler House: I’m a sucker for ambiance. The meals are pricey, but they’re amazing! So if you only want to go for a snack or drink, I think it’s still worth it since the location (The Distillery), and the place itself are enjoyable regardless.

5) St. Lawrence Market: Food galore! Take your pick, there’s tons to look at and tons of choices of things to eat. I personally love the Peameal Bacon Sandwich from Carousel Bakery. My dad has been taking us there since I was a little tot! They are delicious any time of the year.

Happy summer eating, and for some of you ambitious ones, exercising!

Where have we all been? You might have been wondering what’s going on- have we all quit our blogging, have we moved out of country, are we busy doing really fun summer things with no time to spend on the web? Well, not so much to quitting the blogging thing, but I think there’s been an unintentional lapse on all of our parts (except Dina! WOW you’re on top of things!). We can forgive Georgie because I think she’s supposed to be having a baby or something in the next little while. But we’ll expect a quick return to the blogging world after she delivers! No more excuses! 😉 And I can’t speak for Stacey and Amy but I do think that summer and all the fun things that come along with that have taken away some of our usual free indoor time. But I do know that no one has officially resigned and once schedules free up and everyone is able, we’ll be able to post more often. So thanks for your patience on behalf of all the ladies.

I for one came back from my trip just a little while ago and have been catching up on regular life things. The trip really was one of those once-in-a-lifetime adventures. In Armenia, we had the chance to venture around to some fantastic places. Almost everyday, we were driven to different sites outside the capital city Yerevan, where historic churches, museums and monuments are located. One place that really stood out in my mind, and I’m sure in the minds of the rest of my family members, was the monument to the Armenian genocide. If you’re not familiar with this particular event in history, it would be worth taking a few moments to read about the events of 1915, when 1.5 million Armenians were killed at the hands of the Turkish. I am actually 1/8th Armenian (believe it or not!), amongst a bunch of other things (Filipino, British, and Finnish). Prior to the trip, I did not know much about the Armenian part of my history. One of the only things that I knew was that the events of the genocide are a huge part of the Armenian identity. In fact, all my Armenian friends and family have been personally affected by what took place almost 100 years ago. Many have grandparents and family members who were killed. The fact that Turkey still refuses to acknowledge their responsibility in what took place is a cause of much bitterness and grief for many.

When we visited the site, there was a large torch placed in the ground that is burning continually in remembrance of all those who died. The museum they erected had a guided tour and the young lady who led us was very helpful at explaining the events that led to the genocide. It was silencing. Standing by the large open flame, looking at the flowers placed alongside in honour of the dead, and seeing the pictures, artwork, news clippings, and other artifacts that have been kept to preserve the memory of the horrors that took place, left all of us speechless for most of the tour. If you’re more familiar with the Holocaust of the Jews in WWII, then maybe you can visualize some of the images from that horror, and picture the same thing occurring on a smaller scale some years prior. The emaciated bodies, men hung up to die a slow painful death by asphyxiation, and other painful images of the treatment of the Armenian people were placed all throughout the exhibit. At the very end, there was a large collage of pictures. The young guide explained to us that these were pictures of some of the remaining survivors (men and women who are now in their 90s). I think that the pictures were meant to serve as a ray of hope at the end of the dismal exhibit. Those that survived are the grandmothers and grandfathers of many others who now live in Armenia and other parts of the world. Although Armenians are a relatively small people group, they have not been wiped out in spite of the efforts that were made by their enemies to annihilate them.

As I was looking at the photo, for some reason, the story of the Joseph and his brothers came to mind. After having been sold into slavery by his own brothers, Joseph spent many years alone in a foreign land. He was jailed for crimes he didn’t commit. He lost his entire family. And yet God was in control over all the events that were transpiring. At one point in his story, his brothers, who had believed he was dead, come to him in Egypt, not knowing that it was him. They were desperate for food, as the famine in the land had left them helpless and dependent on the mercy of the Egyptians. When Joseph realized that it was his brothers, he welcomes them and cares for their needs and forgives them for what they have done. His brothers were initially very fearful of him because they feared his wrath on them for the evil that they had committed. But Joseph says this: As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about^[a]this present result, to preserve many people alive.- Gensis 50:20. What a response. Can you imagine having that kind of mindset about the events that have happened to you? You were betrayed, sold into slavery, put in prison, falsely accused. Great personal suffering came about because of the evil of others. So how could he possibly say that God meant it for good? I think, that Joseph’s theology was such that He knew God’s character, and trusted in Him in spite of all the suffering that had taken place. He saw that God had used their evil towards him, to place him in a country like Egypt, where he was given a position of power and authority such that he was able to provide for the needs of his own family when the famine struck the entire land. He could have never known that God would use the events that had happened to bring about a good result- the preserving of life.

In thinking about the events of the genocide, I had a similar thought. What a great evil took place in those events. How many people suffered and continue to suffer because of what has happened. But God is in control over every event in history. Not one single thing happens outside His knowledge or care. Even the Armenian genocide. Their enemies had planned to wipe them out entirely. They were not planning to spare anyone! But God prevented their destruction. He persevered a people. And now, years later, there are many who are alive in spite of the destruction that was intended. My family wouldn’t be here today, if God hadn’t protected some of those people. Neither Serge, nor Emma or I would be alive, if God’s hand had not stayed the evil that was intended, and brought good to come of those events.

I know this is not a story that perfectly parallels the Joseph account, but all I was thinking was that God is always in control, even when we can’t see it and don’t know what his plans are. And he is not a God that delights in destruction, but instead preserves life. We can thank Him for preventing worse evils from occurring, and from using even the most horrific events in history for our good. What is the one place we can look to to be sure that this is God’s plan? The cross. If any other event in history were to astonish onlookers, it would have been that one. What great, unspeakable evil took place there. This was the most horrific event in all of history. Every genocide, and every war horror does not compare to the crucifixion of Jesus on the cross. Why can I say that? What is it about Him that would make His death more unspeakable than anything else in all of the deaths and crimes committed in all of history? He is the only innocent one in all of history, to be punished for crimes he never committed. And I don’t mean punished by human judges- I mean by God. God crushed His own Son, for the sins of other people. When humans die, regardless of the judgement pronounced on them by other human beings, they all stand guilty of sinning against a holy God. But the story didn’t end at his death. He rose from the dead. And that is where the hope is. For all those who would put their faith in Him, and trust in Him for the forgiveness of their sins, the greatest good that anyone could ever experience is given to them. So what was meant for evil, God used for our good- the preserving of many lives! Thank Him for that today.

Goodbye Toronto, hello Armenia and France! Yes folks, the Younans are on their way to far-off lands for family time, touring, and fun. I have been looking forward to this family vacation for a while now. My inlaws are very very graciously taking the entire family on a trip. They’re great, huh? You will have to forgive me for missing my post last week, and not having too much to say this week, and possibly having even less to say in the next two weeks, but my brain goes to mush when I have things like vacationing on the horizon. I hope I can get to an internet cafe and post a few pics of our adventures! In the mean time, if you want to buff up on a little Armenian touristy info and history while I’m away, feel free!

Until next week, I’ll leave you with this: Trip Preparation 101

1) Bring a lot of underwear with you: You can never have too much. That sounds weird, and you might ask why, but for some reason, people always underestimate the power of a clean pair of undies and even if you have enough for each day, you never know when you might have a mid-day shower and want to refresh. The same pair after a shower? Yuck. That’s all I have to say about that. And who knows if there’ll be a washing machine wherever you are!

2) Don’t bring unseasonal clothing: Being a Canadian, and always wanting to be prepared for a snowstorm after a hot day at the beach (EXAGERATING, but not much!), I tend to want about six sweaters in my suitcase, even when I’m heading to the tropics. I don’t know, it’s just in my blood I guess? But try to limit the outerwear and coverups when you’re travelling to hotter destinations. Baggage allowances are harsh!

3) Bring snacks: Airfare is expensive. So is the un-free tuna wrap and the $5.00 coffee in the airport waiting area. If you can avoid buying too much, try to have some things to nibble on, especially for a long plane ride with kids. Nothing is worse than hungry babies that need to be bought expensive food to be placated before meltdowns begin to happen.

4) Limit your books: I like reading. For some reason, I become extra ambitious and bring a course load worth of reading material thinking that in my “spare time” I’ll finish them all. One or two are enough. Focus on the peeps your travelling with and if you do have spare time, it probably won’t be enough to get through Atlas Shrugged 😉 .. Lucky for you all, I am three quarters of the way through this 1000+ page book, so I shall be finishing it on this trip!

5) Enjoy your family: This should be number one above the underwear thing, because hey, if you don’t have enough clean underwear but still enjoyed your family and had some sweet times of fellowship, then your trip was a success. The list isn’t in order of importance, but regardless, I think this is one of the top things to think about and prepare for. Remember that you’re going away to be with people, not your phone, or your books, or the sights. Don’t miss out on that chance to connect in special ways with people like husbands who work five days a a week, and don’t get much time away. They’re the ones you want to have fun with, and enjoy conversation and food with. Make relating to one-another a priority.

6) Keep the phones away!: Or at least don’t carry them around? Maybe consider leaving it at home if you can do without it for work or phone calls, but if it’s necessary to bring it, don’t let it have the same place it does at home. Just let it be functional for checking emails occasionally and whatnot. See what it’s like to go without one and use the free time to do more of #5.

And finally:

7) Don’t leave your Bible at home: Vacation from the everyday doesn’t mean vacation from everything that you do or need to do everyday. Spend time with the Lord, and remember that He is always with you wherever you go. That to me has always been one of the most comforting attributes of God- His omnipresence. I love that I know that home is, in one sense, wherever He is. I love that being in an unfamiliar place doesn’t mean that I am alone or that I should be afraid. And remember that whenever you get a chance to see a new place or visit another wonderful part of His world, He made it all for our enjoyment, to His glory.

I’ll be missing home but God-willing will be back soon 🙂 Have a good two weeks while we’re gone!

Last week, I came across a link to an article entitled “How to Miss a Childhood“. The writer, very persuasively painted a picture of the dangers of being too plugged in to our devices, namely the phone, at the expense of relating to people who are most precious to us, namely our children. I think her points can relate to any device and any relationship. For me, the article provoked more thought on a topic I’ve been thinking about a lot about lately. I’ve noticed my tendency to always want to have something to look at, to read, to listen to, to be entertained by. In any moment of calm, whether I’m riding an escalator, paused at a stoplight (yes, I know it is not legal to be on your phone while driving and this is not something I’m proud of!), or just sitting with family members at the dinner table, I will pull out my phone and look at something. Anything. Twitter, Facebook, quick email check, a perusal of a few sites I regularly read, and then whatever I can find to pass a few moments. Why do I do this? I don’t know. I am still not entirely clear as to what I think I’ll find when I tune out of what’s going on around me. Whatever it is, it has often left me feeling that I am wasting precious moments. The idea that we are bored and therefore need to find amusement at any moment of the day when there’s a lull or break from some activity, is a misleading thought. Rather than use phones, computers, the internet, or TV as momentary and controlled activities that have minimal impact on our time, I find that if I’m honest with myself, they often consume my time!

This thought about how much we’re all tuned in has been hitting me much more over the past few weeks. I’ve noticed how bad I am at conversation. I find that rather than being truly interested in what people are doing and saying, I’m easily distracted. I think I can attribute that to the training I’ve been giving myself in finding quick, easy-to-access information and distractions. What will happen to us if we continue to let ourselves become consumed with our technology? Will we loose out on building important relationships in exchange for meaningless time consumers? Will we forfeit time that we could be using to do things that are more helpful, and more productive? Will we be setting an example to our children and to those around us that what is most important is not people but stuff?

These are just some questions I’ve thought about and want to address, not avoid. We can each assess our own habits and practices and ask the Lord to help us see if there are any ways that we’ve neglected those around us. And we can make choices to not allow our phones, TVs, and internet to consume our time. Just a challenge- would you consider along with me going on a fast from some sort of media? Maybe it’ll just be a day without Twitter, or a week without Facebook, or mealtime without the cell phone, but whatever it is, we can pray that instead of letting the things in our life rule our time, we can resolve to withdraw from them and tune in to what’s going on with the PEOPLE we care about. I know that for jobs and family communication, it’s impossible to completely let go of all our connections, but this is just a suggestion to get you thinking about ways that you use your time. I’m looking forward to getting away from some things and being free from that overwhelming pull to always be in touch with what’s happening outside the home. Instead, it’s time to start making sure I’m tuned in to what’s happening here. Do you agree that we’re all too “plugged in”? I’d love to hear some thoughts, maybe personal experiences of ways that you’ve lost out on opportunities because of things like cell phones or TV, and even stories of successes in drawing away. Feel free to share in the comments below!